Les Amis De l'ABC and Mizzies Advice Column
by Patriot Demigod of the Legion
Summary: THE MIZZIES ARE GIVING OUT ADVICE! REVIEW PROBLEMS EXPECT ANSWERS! JUST MENTION WHO NEEDS TO ANSWER THAT ADVICE! They also are doing advice lists! :D HOWEVER each chapter will only give advice to 5-10 reviews! EXPECT RANDOM THINGS RATHER THAN MIND BOGGLING ONES!
1. Advice from Enjolras, the Leader

**A/N: First story like this for me :) Yay! Anyways the mizzies are giving away advice! Not just the Les Amis! Just review what you need advice on and mention who you want to answer. Or... just review a mizzie's name and they will write a list of advice! 5-10 reviews per chapter! I do not own Les Mis!**

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**ADVICE from Enjolras, The Leader**

-Nobody cares about your lonely soul

-Beware, don't let the wine go to your brain

-This is VIVE LA the Revolution, not LEAVE the Revolution

-Dying isn't too hard

-Dying ain't that bad

-If you're rich, abandon or disgrace your family name by joining the Revolution

-Red and Black are **VERY** importantcolors, know their meanings

-France before pants!

-If you save the Revolution, I'll give you anything in my power (STRICTLY NO M-RATED)

-If someone wearing a blue hat who looks suspiciously like Inspector Javert volunteers to join the Revolution and go into enemy territory. TRUST HIM

-Trick advice ^ DO NOT TRUST HIM

-Leave it to Gavroche to get the Revolution up to speed

-Never say you ship *blegh* Enjonine or E/R or any other ships including me in front of me

-Do not care about Marius' lonely soul

-YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DO

-Wave Red flags, they're great

-Lock up Marius in a closet, just to get him to shut up about Cosette

-Come to the Revolution, we have cookies

-Actually that was a lie

-_Come to the Revolution, we have hot boys, ladies ;)_

-Ignore Courfeyrac's pedophilic, flirty, and lonely soul ^

_-I AM NOT PEDOPHILIC!_

**-Look for my Cosette! D:**

-Ignore Marius' lonely soul ^

-DRINK LOTS AND LOTS OF ALCOHOL UNTIL YOU'RE MORE THAN DRUNK! :D

-Ignore Grantaire ^

-_JOIN THE POLAND REVOLUTION! :)_

-Ignore Feuilly ^

-_**Write a poem**_

-Ignore Jehan ^

-Actually ignore everyone except for the French monarchy

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**A/N:**

Normal- Enjolras

_Italic- Courfeyrac_

**Bold- Marius**

Underlined- Grantaire/R

_Italic Underlined- Feuilly_

**_Bold Italic- Jehan_**

What do you think? Have any problems you need the mizzies' advice? REVIEW, FOLLOW, FAVORITE!


	2. Advice from Courfeyrac, the Flirt

**A/N: Alright second chapter! Feauturing... Courfeyrac and Valjean! Hope you guys enjoy :) I DON'T OWN LES MIS**

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**Guest says: **Um, Valjean do you think you could give me advise on something? I currently have a man trapped under a wooden cart and I seem to be the only person in town who can lift it off him and no one is aloud to help me. Do you know any ways to lift the cart off him without hurting my back too badly?

_Dear Guest,_

_ I see your situation, but before doing anything. If you have by any chance broken parole, check if there are police officers around. They will catch you if they spot you for your strength. Now onto the actual problem. Without damaging your back, you say? Well a cart has handle, correct? Then the answer is simple really. Just go inbetween the two handles and push them up. Unless you would want another way? Use the handle to lift the cart while squating. You won't hurt your back. Good Luck and again watch out for officers after you because you broke parole._

_Jean Valjean/Monsiuer Madeline/Prisoner 24601_

**ADVICE from Courfeyrac, The center and the flirt**

-You're the third-in-command, abuse the power well

-Shy? Flirt, it helps I mean look at me!

**-Yes, take advice from the flirt not the leader -_-**

-Enjolras, this is my time to shine! Do not ruin it!

-For the ladies, go on a date with me

-DON'T! EVEN IF HE PAYS YOU

-Why is everyone interrupting my list?!

-**You interrupted mine**

-It was R's idea

-**And you still went with it**

-...

-**It was your idea wasn't it?**

-...

**-Both yours and R's idea**

-Maybe...

-**Knew it**

-Anyways... before I was so rudely interrupted

-Take VERY good care of a fiery street gamine who turns out to be the brother of Marius' shadow

-Marius is a hopeless case when it comes to convincing him to come back to the revolution

-**Its Revolution not revolution**

-All I did was not capitalize!

-**Still**

-Convincing Enjolras to at least go on a date with someone (other than the imaginary love of his life Patria) is HOPELESS

-**I can read this, you do realize that?**

**-**Yes, yes I do Enjolras

-Flirting can distract you from the major things

-Never call Enjolras, Enjy, Enjo, Enj, Ras, and etc.

-**You will suffer the flag's wrath**

-This is my advice list! Not yours!

-Good Luck if you attempt to live with Marius

-Do not flirt with Eponine

-Obviously

-Do not flirt with Cosette

-_Yes, Marius will get mad and so will Papa_

-Do not flirt with Musichetta

-_**You'll suffer Joly and Bossuet's wrath**_

-**More like Joly's panic attacks and Bossuet's bad luck**

-I'm done with this list

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**A/N: Not my best and I think some were OOC so I might make a new one for Courf, but at least I made one! Its longer too :D now a guide**

_Italic- Valjean_

Normal- Courfeyrac

Underlined- Eponine

**Bold- Enjolras**

_Underlined Italic- Cosette_

_**Bold Italic- Musichetta**_

**Review, Follow, Favorite!**


	3. Advice from Javert, the Inspector

**A/N: I'm back! Sorry for how long it took!** **This list features...**

**COSETTE AND JAVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT! I mean... Javert!**

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**Lily Annette Mizzy asks: **Dear Cosette, how did you get your hair braided with that ribbon during in my life (movie verison) Also, how did you know you loved Marius just by looking at him? Uhm so a nice day.

_Dear Lily Annette Mizzy_,

_For your first question: Its a secret.. Shh..._

_For your second question: I do believe there is such a thing as Love at First Sight, don't you?_

_Sincerely, Cosette_

**starfallen00 asks: **OMG This is beautiful. To Javert: Did you ever have to chase after Valjean while carrying the food you were eating when you spotted him?

_Dear starfallen00,_

_Let's not talk about this._

_Not Sincerely, Inspector Javert_

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ADVICE from Javert, the Inspector

-Edges are fun to walk on

-If someone steals a loaf of bread, hunt that man down for you entire life

-Swear by the stars

-If the person you are trying to hunt gets a chance to kill you, but sets you free, commit suicide

-Always say 'DO NOT FORGET MY NAME' every 5 seconds

**-It gets annoying**

-Yes, yes exactly

-WHAT ARE YOU THERNARDIER CHILDREN DOING IN MY ADVICE LIST!

_**-I know the feeling bro**_

-ALSO YOU, REVOLUTIONIST

-The Republic is not mocked!

-Wear a different hat to mask your identity

**-It doesn't work actually**

-Really pretty boy?

**-ONCE**

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**A/N: Welp, that was a terrible list... But I didn't know what to write for Javert!**

_Italics- Letter writing people, in this case, Cosette and Javert_

Normal- Javert

**Bold- Gavroche, and the author. Celestique.**

Underlined- Éponine

_**Bold Italics- Courfeyrac**_

**Bold Underlined- Enjolras**


	4. Advice from Grantaire, the Drunkard

**So I got a sprain ankle and a huge swelling ankle and I did what any sane person would do! Update a story!**

**Or is it just me?**

**Anyways, I do not own Les Miserables blah blah blah blah blah.**

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**messed up stargazer asks: **Dear Grantaire: How do you handle unrequited love?

_Dear messed up stargazer,_

_Am I not acknowledged on this subject?_

_Éponine Thenardier_

**Iceflower asks: **I know Enjolras already gave advice, but I have a good question. Dear Enjy, (I don't care about your wrath OR lonely soul) I often feel like I'm surrounded by idiots. What do you do when you feel like this?

_Dear Iceflower, _

_First off: NEVER CALL ME ENJY._

_Second: Hit them with red flags._

_Enjolras_

**Bam it's Rachel asks:** This is great, loved all the chapters and javerts advice :) Can you ask Marius why he stalked Cosette in the book, it is very creepy xxx

_Dear Bam it's Rachel,_

_But- Coufeyrac said it was romantic!_

**_No I didn't!_**

_Marius Pontmercy, __**Coufeyrac**_

**That Creative One asks: **Let's see, I've got a question... Dear Enjy (yes, I said that specifically to annoy you, I don't give your wrath a crap,), Will you have eyes for women after the Revolution succeeds? One day, you're going to realize that you're not going to want to spend your life alone.

_Dear That Creative One,_

_IF ANYONE ELSE DARES CALL ME ENJY. I WILL-_

_and..._

_NEVER._

_Enjolras (Who is now devising nicknames for anyone and everyone who calls him that CURSED nickname MWAHAHAHA)_

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Advice from Grantaire, the Drunkard

-DRINK ALCOHOL

-DRINK WINE

-DRINK ALE

-DRINK ABSINTHE

-DRINK

-DRINK

-DRINK

-WATCH ENJOLRAS IN HIS SLEEP

**-Excuse me, WHAT?!**

-I MEAN DRINK

-_**That's a little too far off...**_

-BLAME AUTOCORRECT

_-There is no autocorrect in 19th Century France!_

**-True.**

-THEN WHAT DO YOU CALL WHAT I'M DOING?

_-Writing an advice column while you're drunk._

-BESIDES THAT

**_-Drinking some more?_**

-NO

**-THEN WHAT?!**

-AUTOCORRECTING!

***At this point almost everyone in the room are completely poker-faced***

-PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT THE REVOLUTION!

-IS MARIUS IN LOVE AT LAST?

-MARIUS FALLING IN LOVE IS BETTER THAN AN OPERA!

**-NOT!**

-ANNOY ENJOLRAS

-NEVER PUT THE BOTTLE DOWN!

-DRINK

-DRINK

-Pretend to care about the revolution for Enjolras

**-Revolution NOT revolution AND ONCE AGAIN... WHAT?!**

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**The guide!**

_Italics - Letter Writers, Combeferre_

Normal - Grantaire

**Bold - Enjolras, Celestique**

**_Bold Italics - Coufeyrac_**

**Bold Underline - Narrator**

**NOW REVIEW! ITS MY LIFELINE. REVIEWS KEEP ME ALIVE AND SANE.**

**Well not necessarily sane.**


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